As Jesus was hanging on the cross he had a couple conversations before he died. Most made it into record, but one was forgotten. Now for the first time in history I reveal to you the lost conversation he had.
An American tourist happened to be walking by (while visiting Jerusalem) and stopped to ask Jesus a few questions before Mary got there. Now, I’m no history buff, and I am certainly not a magic/religion scholar, but I believe this may be important to some people out there…
(Jesus is on his cross, in between 2 criminals, pissing and moaning)
JESUS- “God, it hurts! Why Father?! Why? I mean, I knew it was coming, but it still sucks! It Sucks father!”
(Howard Peters, with a camera around his neck stumbles away from his tour group and up to the cross)
JESUS- “Hey there! Yes, you with the camera! I need you to do me a favour”.
(With his mouth wide open, Howard looked up at Jesus and pointed at himself)
JESUS- “Yes! It’s the year 33! Do you see anyone else with a camera?”
(With his mouth still wide open, Howard looked around and didn’t see anyone else with a camera)
HOWARD- “Nope”.
JESUS- “Brilliant. Can you reach into my pocket, pull out my cigarettes and light me one?”
(Howard hesitates, then pulls out a smoke from Jesus’ cotton rag bottom, lights it and puts it in Jesus’ mouth with a reaching claw. Like the ones you see fat lady‘s with in Walmart)
(Jesus takes a long haul and closes his eyes. He smiles as though he‘s already in heaven)
JESUS- “Flavour country. Thanks pal”.
HOWARD- “No problem. Are you a criminal or something?”
JESUS- “Nope. These assholes dying beside me are. I am just fulfilling my destiny”.
(Jesus spits his cigarette out, looks up at the sky and starts laughing, presumably because his story sounds as dumb to him as it does to me)
(Howard starts laughing too)
HOWARD- “I have a cousin named Destiny. Do you think I could get a picture of you dying for my Facebook albums?”
And Jesus went on to die for that retard Howard’s sins. Or something like that.
The End
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