If you read this shit blog you probably know I like to razz the yanks. It's not from hatred but from love, I feel like they are the cousin that everybody can't stand but you still hang out with because he's you're cousin. It's complicated.
So being in the land of the brave (who are all petrified, watching FOX news), I have noticed some things that are different from us, for example, in the state of California you can U-turn anywhere you want, it's fucking downright dangerous. People literally U-turn on freeways, there's even lanes at major intersections just for U-turning. Also, in "Emuricah" you can carry guns around. It's even in their most sacred document, The U.S. Constitution, 'The Right to Bear Arms, no wonder no one respects cops down here, they are on the same playing field. The metric system though? Never heard of it... huh.
So I really started thinking (especially after I grabbed weed off a guy named Ford Barnes in Carlsbad, California) why stop there you nutty Americans? Since you didn't adopt the metric system like the rest of the planet, how about you just do everything different and 'real American like'? Yeah here's what I got.
1. Monday, Tuesday? Those names are fucking gay, Lets call Monday 'Citibank day' and we'll call Tuesday 'General Electric day' and so on.
2. Them Spics are gettin on our nerves, let's close the country off to immigrants AND tourists! That way we know who's American and who aint! If youse here than youse American, if you AINT here, then you aint and you fair game. !Port our Troop!
3. Since America is the only country and culture there is worth knowing about, we should make it illegal to teach, preach or speak about anything BUT Americana and Jesus. Amen.
4. Every other industrialized nation has socialized medicine and health care. But then again, every other industrialized nation isn't America.
5. Public schools, Public libraries, Public Police departments!?! This is starting to sound pretty Socialist... Lets Privatize!!
I could do this forever but.... I gotta call Ford Barnes. If you're ever in South Cali, he can hook you up. It's pretty good weed.
!ADIOS FROM THE LAND OF STOLEN MEXICAN CULTURE, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!
