A SUPERHERO

Every little boy dreams of being a superhero. If I was a superhero it would probably go something like this...


Police Chief: "Mayor, the museum of modern art is about to explode! If we don't do something in
the next 10 minutes, a lot of people will die."

Mayor: "Explode!?! From what"

Police Chief: "It seems the joker has hidden a 90 pound funny bomb somewhere in the building.
We cant find it."

Mayor: "Blasted Joker! That is so brute magoots! We literally just renovated that place in
August! Well its a good thing this city has a superhero we can depend on. I ll
just use this red phone on my desk that is directly
lined to SuperJosh's HeadQuarters and we should have this sorted out in no time.

(Mayor picks up phone and waits for SuperJosh to answer)

(Keeps waiting)

Mayor: "Shit, there is no answer"

the end

AN AMERICAN CONVERSATION AROUND A CAMPFIRE

George W Bush: "Hey Dick, what do you think the is the most awesome thing we did? I mean at
the White House?"

Dick Cheney: "Jeez Georgie, I dunno. You mean policy-wise?"

George W Bush: "Hehehe... yeah"

Dick Cheney: " Well you got to go with the war in Iraq. I mean we started a war based on a
lie, that's pretty cool"

George W Bush: "Yeah that's true, it is probably my defining legacy... my favorite was when you shot your buddy in the face for making that lesbian joke. I can't believe
the country bought that hunting story Karl made up!"

Dick Cheney: "I don't want to brag, but that was AWESOME!"

Bill Clinton: "Well let's not forget the Patriot Act then. I mean c'mon, you took from the
citizens of this 'great' country the very thing U.S. soldiers were dying for...
freedom. Not only that but you had the stones to call it the 'Patriot Act'. If
thats not edgey, I dont know what is."

Karl Rove: "Fuckin 'eh man"

Condoleeza Rice: "If I may sir, but the coolest thing you ever did was steal the 2000 election,
hands down."

George W Bush: "Does that count?? I mean, we werent even in the White House yet."

Condoleeza Rice: "Doesnt matter sir. The U.S.A prides itself on democracy and forceing
democracy on other nations through occupation. Don't listen to the scientists
who say Democracy started in ancient Greece, it started in Philadelphia.
That being said, you stole the election from the most democratic society in
history, right in front of the world's eyes. Thats hot."

Dick Cheney: "That is bad ass!"

Karl Rove: "True-dat. But facts are facts. You had the lowest approval rating in history
coupled with a majority in congress for the lions-share of your presidency.
Think about it. The citizens of this country are not the most ignorant,
self absorbed, complacent retards on the planet and they kept on voting
republican to give YOU power, its astonishing really."

Satan: "I agree but that deficit your administration accumulated from bad desicions is
legendary! Jenna and Laura's grandkids will still be dealing with that red line
in 60 years from now!"

George W bush: "Man Satan, your so right! Its like I am giving future generations a problem
to deal with that is so big that my name will be remembered forever."

Satan: "Hey that reminds me. Didnt you leave these guys with a surplus in 2000 when
you left office, Slick Willy?"

Bill Clinton: "Yeah yeah rub it in assholes. Your all just so lucky you didnt have an
impeachable scandal to deal with...

(IN WALKS OSAMA BIN LADEN WITH A 6 PACK OF BUD-LIGHT))

Osama Bin Laden: "WWAAAAASSSSSSSUUUPPPPPP!?!??"