While I'm at work I tend to daydream about winning the lottery a lot. It's quite dangerous, but I take it one step further. I think about amazingly irresponsible ways to blow lots of money. Here are just a few...
-Pay Boyz2Men to follow me around and sing my every move to the tune of their smash hits.
-Buy a monkey, teach him the ropes.
-Jet-ski across the Pacific in a $10,000 suit and a pair of really nice dress shoes
-Outbid someone at an auction for something they really, really wanted. Then smash it right in front of them.
-Buy African children from child slave markets and sell them back to celebrities at jacked up prices.
-Pay the Russians to take me to Space. Then drop acid when I get there.
-Buy Leafs tickets. (in Toronto, not Buffalo)
-Hire assistants to watch me smoke weed and masturbate.
-Buy some friends.
-Hire assassin to kill friends.
-Only eat veal, and only drink really expensive wine. All day every day.
-Court Octomom and raise her 14 kids as my own.
-Buy hundreds of those $3,000 kittens, you know the fluffy white ones, and use them as toilet paper.
